Black Panther: The Whitest Black Cinema Ever

I’m not sure if Black Panther will be a good movie. I’m a little burned out on superheroes. I think DC’s Justice League was the last straw for me. I miss 1989 Michael Keaton’s more colorful Batman, and 1978’s camp Superman. This dark, brooding, murder-happy, filled-with-obvious-progressive-politics superhero forced fluff isn’t my bag. But, apparently, black people love black cinema, and so they’re obviously flocking to the all-black production of Tyler Perry’s: Marvel Kangz.

Oh, that’s not the name of the movie? You mean to tell me it’s another comic written by old white man Stan Lee?

Yeah, right! Tell that to the black people who are bending over backwards to say that Black Panther is the sort of genius black people churn out on the reg when not impeded by white people.

Hell, thousands upon thousands of people have no idea that Marvel is basically white people writing stories, white people writing scripts, white people funding movies, and white people making all the money when the Chinese go crazy over Thor’s abs.

White people! 

9.000 Black Panther “fans” have no idea about its origins.

Black folks, particularly in America, are losing their ever-lovin’ shit over Black Panther, swearing that it’s the best thing that black cinema has ever produced.

It might end up being a good movie. If and when it comes to HBO—or at least a torrent that’s a webDL and not a TS cam—I might decide to check it out one night. But I’m really turned off from watching it by the way it’s being treated. Sorry for such a long lead-in here. Though my overall point: White people are basically giving this as a gift to black people, and black people are lapping it up and seem to enjoy being condescended to!

Black people really do seem to want that! They honestly seem to want white people to do special favors for them and to treat them like they’re too stupid, too lazy and too busy committing crimes to do things themselves. This is really true. We have black professors in America proclaiming that being black is like a handicap, and instead of black people getting mad, rising up and shouting, “We can do everything you can!” they’re instead mumbling and nodding in agreement, as if to say, “Yes, we do want white people to treat us like retarded children.”

What the f*ck is wrong with you, black people!?

Have you no pride in yourselves?

You’re the people who tell me constantly on social media that you were kings in Africa, in some sort of strange futuristic-but-way-in-the-past too-woke monarchy wherein every subject was a king and queen. You’re the ones who say whites are inferior cave-beasts and that your DNA is superior and even that your melanin can convert sunlight into knowledge.

Yet instead of fighting for fairness and demanding that black cinema and TV be treated fairly and judged based on its quality, you have contributed to a system whereby white critics are literally scared to death to even offer a critique of black media! Do you know how white critics treat black media? No – that’s a serious question. I want to know. Because as far as I can tell, going through these ratings, white people just say it’s perfect, give it a perfect rating, and then cry racism if someone doesn’t.

It’s so f*cking bad, and so blatantly obvious, that Rotten Tomatoes has already said that they’re blocking any negative reviews in order to protect black people. Wow! Black cinema has certainly come a long way. From the days of Blaxploitation films about pimps and drug dealers to now the days where blacks are so fragile that we have to protect them and offer up fake aggregated reviews of their movies—which aren’t even really their movies!—by disallowing any review that says negative things.

Black Panther might end up being a great movie. I’m not on the Chadwick Boseman train after the Civil War movie like many. I’ve thought this dude was a good actor since like seven years ago when he starred in an episode of Justified. He was also great as Jackie Robinson. And Michael B. Jordan – don’t even get me started! Creed is an excellent addition to the Rocky franchise, and I think Jordan easily deserved the Best Actor Oscar for that movie. So the movie has talent in it. It might end up being really good.

Unfortunately, that’s all you’re allowed to hear about the movie in terms of its quality. The movie is either going to be the greatest thing to happen to black cinema ever, or it’s going to be racism.

The deck is already stacked against anyone who thinks this movie isn’t good. You’re not allowed to have that opinion without it being racism.

These are black people! They’re basically retarded kids, you bigots, and so they need us to create these things for them. Tyler Perry’s movies can be 100% black: Writing, directing, funding, acting, marketing, etc, and still we hear nothing from the black community about black cinema actually advancing. Yet when white people are behind putting together a full cast of black actors for a black superhero, suddenly black people want all the credit for it, and white people are working their little sissy asses off to rig the game so that Black Panther is a surefire awards-season broom, with nobody saying anything negative about it.

I think a very telling thing about Black Panther is its IMDB rating. IMDB didn’t fix its site in favor of black feelings, like did Rotten Tomatoes. So you find a 7.1 rating here, lower than Captain America: Civil War, Spider-Man: Homecoming, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and even Ant-Man.

When truth is allowed

And in no way am I insulting Black Panther by pointing this out! I just happen to think black people are tough enough, with a thick enough skin, to be told that a movie with black actors and a black superhero isn’t the most perfect thing to ever happen in life. It doesn’t mean we’re trying to steal the dream of an all-black ethnostate away from blacks. After all, black people are allowed to want Wakanda, whereas white people are expected to simply die off so nonwhites can inhabit their nations. We get it!

You know who I really for bad for in all this? Wesley Snipes. Blade (1998) also earned a 7.1 rating and was a legit Marvel superhero movie, where the villains didn’t rely on derivative space beams and time travel to explain plot holes. It was a down-and-dirty vampire romp, and I cannot recall white people having to run around to protect black people’s feelings against those who said it sucked.

Remember this?

Sorry, but Black Panther might suck in my opinion. Or someone else’s opinion. Or even in your opinion!

White people rigging the game, and black people acting like stupid toddlers and allowing them to do so, is not only a stain on this movie but also on all the advancements of black cinema over the years.

This is what I infer that many black people are basically saying: “White people, we not only want you to write, fund, create and market movies with all-black actors so that we feel included, but we also want you to rig the review systems, worse than Netflix did for Amy Schumer, so that everyone is forced to see this movie as flawless!”

What the f*ck ever happened to simply having the freedom to fail? Write your own movies. Fund your own movies. See how they stand on their own merit. If I were black, I’d be insulted that white liberals thought so little of me that they went to rig a review system just to protect my feelings. It’s insanity.

Black cinema deserves more! All my life I’ve been watching movies by black filmmakers, and I’ve enjoyed quite a few. Spike Lee made a few great movies. John Singleton’s movies told fantastic stories and took many white people to places they’ve never been. F. Gary Gray had like a ten-year streak of great movies. And while I didn’t particularly like 12 Years a Slave, Steve McQueen did a great job putting it together. The list goes on and on. None of these “black” movies needed a rigged system for success, and none of them were basically entirely white save the actors and director yet still stood out as some boon to the black cause.

According to Rotten Tomatoes, the 2017 movie Get Out is the 3rd-greatest movie ever made. Are you serious? I watched it. I thought it was too predictable and not spooky enough to be scary. It was 90 minutes of white people acting awkward as hell around blacks, and then 30 minutes of a black guy killing white people. (Okay, on second thought, no wonder liberals love it.)

Think of all the awesome movies you’ve seen in your life. Think of all the huge summer blockbusters, all of those Oscar-winning Tom Hanks movies of the late ’90s, all of those movies that stick with you even years after watching them. A mid-level movie that was mildly entertaining is rated #3 all time simply because it was created by a black man and the lead actor is black. This is insulting as hell to black people. The bar hasn’t only been lowered; it’s been entirely removed. No wonder so many of them get upset and act entitled.

Ryan Coogler, the director of Black Panther, also did Creed in 2015, which is one of my favorite movies. And of the nine times I’ve seen this film, not once did I say, “Wow, a black director is great!” I simply appreciated the work.

White liberals and black crybabies are the ones who seem to want to break these things down along racial lines, and it’s really turning a lot of people off of the movies. I’m already burned out on superheroes, but even if I weren’t, I’m not sure I’d pay to watch something that has become so unnecessarily political.

For the sake of the Marvel franchise, which I mostly enjoy, I hope Black Panther does well.

For the sake of black cinema in the future, which I sometimes enjoy, I hope whiny liberals and child-like blacks can get over themselves long enough to let a movie’s reception happen organically.

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About the Author

Brian Hendrix
Brian is a regular contributor to Halsey News. He has more than 20 years experience in Media and Publishing. He can be reached at brian@halseynews.com or on Twitter @kekkitchen