When The Men Walked Out

Life and Loss: Reflections on Chester Bennington

You know the phrase “It takes two to tango”?

Many on the Right would do well to remember this while they loudly, emphatically denounce the evils of modern feminism. I run in circles where this sort of denunciation is common, and I actually agree with much of the criticism feminism receives. I don’t like the Marxist nature of the policies it advocates for. I don’t believe the state can be, or ever will be a surrogate for two parents when it comes to nurturing children. I don’t like how modern feminist activism advocates for subsidizing poor behaviors, thus furthering individual moral hazard on the taxpayer’s dime.

So, as usual, the Right is only half-right when it comes to addressing a crucial societal issue. One concern I have with their diagnosis is that, just as the Left does when pushing the radical feminist agenda, the Right creates a victim class of men who are powerless to help themselves in our culture. Obviously, current policy is stacked in favor of women, but men are complicit in creating the status quo. They’re not the victims here.

Men decided to be accommodating when activists pushed this agenda. They decided to accept the lot they were given and sold their rights as fathers for a mere 17% of their income.

I was actually spurred to write about this today when I heard the Clean Bandit single “Rockabye”, which is an anthem of sorts for single moms (why does this sort of song even need to exist??), and began to think…”Where the heck did all the dads go?!”. The truth is, I know where they went… they took the easy path away from responsibility. I realize this isn’t the entirety of the male populace, and I’ve met men who have legitimately been screwed by the system and genuinely want their children, but for every one hardworking, responsible father there seem to be two or three who are willing to buy their girlfriends abortions, or find contentment paying the bare minimum in child support.

This issue hit me pretty hard because I stepped in for a deadbeat dad who readily drops his daughter when he doesn’t have a woman around to impress. I was the one who taught her how to eat, began teaching her to write, read her stories at night. I was the one who got to see her cry bitterly because her dad was flaking out on his weekends with her to get laid, and I also got to see him posting selfies with her on his social media the weekends he actually did take her, talking about how “he missed her so much” and playing to the image of being the “good dad”.

I don’t have a modicum of sympathy for people who play the victim like that.

Being a parent is a tough job. Probably one of the toughest jobs out there. It’s far easier to play parent than to actually step up and be there for your children in the good times and the bad.

Men and women alike have played their roles in the destruction of the family unit which has, in turn, adversely affected American society as a whole. I don’t need the Right to pander to me like the Left panders to women. I don’t need to be told I’m a victim, or that the society is stacked against me, and I expect the same of my fellow men. It’s up to us to call out the “fuck-boys” and players, and to hold them to a higher standard. It’s up to us to mentor young men who are growing up in a society that tells them they don’t need to be fathers, husbands or providers. A society that tells them they can play around all they want and be relatively free of the consequences of their actions.

The true change in culture will come on the level of individuals who step up and create organizations to accomplish these things. No matter how much the state has tried to legislate responsibility it continues to fail miserably because men don’t respond to faceless bureaucrats and regulations. They respond to role models. They respond to fathers that don’t ditch their children. They respond to husbands who don’t leave their wives. They respond to big brothers who protect their sisters. This is what we need in our culture to turn the tide of reckless male behaviors.

Time to man up boys! We’ve got a lot of work to do.


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About the Author

Josh Carter
Josh Carter is the host of The Resistance Podcast, an independent, Wisconsin-based media project. He is a working class husband, father of two and a student of history and political and revolutionary theory.