Let’s Talk About Patriarchy, It’ll Be Fun

I Love The Patriarchy. So Do Feminists.

Smash the patriarchy? Are you insane? What a stupid idea. Fortunately, feminists have no interest in any such thing – and even if they did, they’d  never be able to pull it off – seeing as they don’t even know what the patriarchy actually is.

Let's Talk About Patriarchy, It'll Be Fun

“If civilization had been left in female hands, we would still be living in grass huts.” – Camille Paglia. #Triggered

Last week, I had the pleasure of joining my new friend Tim Preuss on his podcast (You can check out my full hour long appearance below). As much as I love writing, I also love getting to have spoken conversations with various people.

I was thankful to have a chance to really distill some of my views on feminism, why it sucks, and why I hate being called one into one conversation.  With certain far-reaching topics, it can be less overwhelming to get your ideas out there in a video rather than writing an article (or in my case several articles, I rarely shut up about feminism).

On the other hand, some of the finer points can get lost in a passionate conversation – something that happens to me a lot, especially as a fast talker with a lot to say.

So, today, I want to examine one particular aspect of our conversation: Patriarchy. Why it happened, why it’s awesome, and, briefly, why feminism is a natural evolution of it and we will thankfully never abolish it. ( I started writing, and decided you guys probably don’t want to read a 5000 word treatise on patriarchy)

Wikipedia defines patriarchy in this way:

Patriarchy is a social system in which males hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property. In the domain of the family, fathers or father-figures hold authority over women and children. Some patriarchal societies are also patrilineal, meaning that property and title are inherited by the male lineage.

I was going to delve a little more into the Wikipedia article and expand on it, figuring an objective public encyclopedia may actually know what patriarchy means, but I got about two seconds in, found this utterly idiotic sentence, and realized I’d have to speak starting at square one:

“Anthropological evidence suggests that most prehistoric hunter-gatherer societies were relatively egalitarian.”

Face, meet palm.

Now, a disclaimer, I’m no scientist or biologist or anything, so you can’t sue me if I’m wrong here, but I do possess enough common sense to say on some authority that this is obviously absurd. And I’m happy to explain why.

As usual when it comes to talking about feminism, I can’t just write something simple. This is a common problem we rascally antifeminists have, and it’s super annoying. Feminists can say “women were oppressed” as though it’s a truism, and we have to say “actually, no, BECAUSE x, y, z” and nerd out for like ten paragraphs.

I have to go back to the beginning of humankind and explain the most basic evolutionary biology and psychology because the entirety of our higher education system has been co-opted by feminist post-modernists and their complete disdain for objective reality. It really grinds my gears, actually.

I know I link this video in almost every article I write about feminism, but it really is required watching if you want a deeper understanding of the history of feminism and patriarchy, so I will keep linking it until all of my readers have seen it. Preferably several times. And I will continue borrowing some of the arguments, because they’re masterful.

Anyway, time for the shorter, Stefanie-sassed version of some of the points.

Back to this idea that patriarchy was a more recent invention. Sexual dimorphism is a thing, Wikipedia. Stop being stupid.

Let's Talk About Patriarchy, It'll Be Fun

I won’t even bother posting a definition. I’m sure it will read something like: “Sexual Dimorphism: A right wing conspiracy theory that men and women are biologically different.”

Okay, experiment time.

Look at a man.

Let's Talk About Patriarchy, It'll Be Fun

Look at a woman.

Let's Talk About Patriarchy, It'll Be Fun

They look freaking different, don’t they?! It takes you two seconds to discern between the two. There are very masculine looking men and very feminine looking women, but in general, you can categorize male and female instinctively within seconds.

Look at a female marmoset.

Let's Talk About Patriarchy, It'll Be Fun

I can’t even remember which is which, to be honest. POINT MADE.

Look at a male marmoset.

Let's Talk About Patriarchy, It'll Be Fun

They look the same, don’t they? Except for their sexual organs, they are virtually indistinguishable from one another. Same muscle mass and all that good stuff. You wouldn’t know at a glance which is which.

Marmosets are gender egalitarians. They are not a sexually dimorphic species. Humans are a sexually dimorphic species. Sexually dimorphic – the male and female of the species have different characteristics besides their sexual organs.

Now, again, I’m not a scientist, so I’m sure we can debate the finer points here, and I’m sure there are multiple reasons that humans evolved into a sexually dimorphic species, but I’ll give you one obvious one that makes the whole idea that humans were ever egalitarian even in our caveman days preposterous.


Let's Talk About Patriarchy, It'll Be Fun

A newborn donkey can walk right away. My son was a pink blob with eyes for like two months.

Humans have long gestation periods, and they’re born super helpless. There are a couple of reasons for this. The reason that has usually been put forth by scientists is that human babies are born with only about 30% of the brain size they will have in adulthood, so that they can fit through the birth canal before continuing to double their brain size in their first year. However, there is also the possibility being presented now that it has something to do with the metabolic rate of the mother.

Either way, as the mother of a 17 month old who is just learning his first words and can’t even put his own clothes on, it is clear just how much human babies depend on their mothers for survival.

Do feminists ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, the reality of women’s extra burden as mothers has existed for a very, very, very long time, and continues to exist today, and that it may have some sort of an impact on our biological evolution and the gender roles men and women have pretty much always had?

Let's Talk About Patriarchy, It'll Be Fun

No, you’ll be digging ditches with a baby strapped to you wishing for patriarchy to come back.

Wikipedia is wrong.

If we had been egalitarian in our hunter gatherer days, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.  Tell me, how would the human race have survived if women were doing the same work as men while nine months pregnant or nursing a newborn or trying to stop a toddler from getting eaten by a bear?

That’s stupid. It didn’t happen.

Men had an excess of labour, and women had an excess of reproductive ability, and those two things came together to create the best possible system of society that we could have ever imagined. Patriarchy was effective – and as much as feminists don’t want to admit it, it is effective even today.

Patriarchy is awesome. Screw dismantling the patriarchy – we need to encourage it! But, that’s another argument for a future article.

Tim Preuss (Go follow him, please!) got it right during our chat: Feminist patriarchy theory is a conspiracy theory. A ridiculous conspiracy theory that somehow patriarchy was created by men, instead of being something that developed organically out of a natural necessity ordained by our biological differences. We’ve already let feminism rewrite social history. Let’s not let them re-write scientific reality.

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About the Author

Stefanie MacWilliams
Stefanie MacWilliams is a dissident Canadian millennial, mom, buffalo sauce afficianado, and right-wing political troublemaker. She co-owns (and writes for) HalseyNews.com, hosts the Right Millennial show on Youtube, and can be found frequently on her twitter account @StefMacwilliams or you can email her at Stefanie@HalseyNews.com