Trigger Warning: This post contains descriptions of events that contain portraying woman, leftists, Democrats and others in a funny and/or honest way. Safe Spaces and Pacifiers are encouraged!
Let’s be honest with each other up front. When I woke up in the morning, I had no intention of going to Trump Tower to troll the Day Without A Woman protest/march. To be blunt, I didn’t even realize the march was happening that day. I heard about it when I was checking the traffic report for New York City for the day. I will say though, I owe a big thank you to the Sharia Law supporters, Terrorist Palestinian Jew Killers and Murderers of gay men who organized the event to demonstrate how not going to work for the day was the appropriate way to show President Trump that he shouldn’t dare suggest any legislation stopping the murder of unborn babies, or suggesting which bathroom is appropriate to pee in or stopping terrorists from coming in the country. Without these courageous women in their vagina hats and with their “stop fascism” leaflets, I would have been stuck going into the city for a boring meeting and spent the day contemplating what to write about that evening. Instead I had a blast, getting a full two hours pointing out the sheer lunacy of the Left and their take on America (My good mood was also elevated hearing Linda Sarsour had been thrown in jail at Trump International, although that would have been even nicer if she was tried under the Sharia Law she advocates so strongly for). So here is my journey.
New Jersey, 8:30am
Upon hearing that my boring day in New York City was going to be on the same day as the Day Without A Woman March, I sprang to action. Maybe I would be able to at least get a picture with Linda Sarsour or even Ashley Judd. I had to make a “Make America Great Again Sign” to hold if I saw anyone I wanted a picture with and to document my journey. I would have made a nicer one but my bus was leaving in ten minutes, an artist I am not and my partner in crime was waiting. Luckily, even though he is a staunch Democrat, he is down to have fun anytime regardless of political persuasion.
The “New York, March 8 2017” sign was to hold over the MAGA Sign in case anybody got suspicious and asked what my sign said. Being a master with slight of hand I could show them that sign and pretend to be a tourist. Alas, I am a tricky Troll sometimes. I alerted Twitter that my #MAGAtour was about to begin and was out the door.
New York City, 10:15am
I wanted to head straight to Trump Tower as my focus had shifted from the meeting we had with a major WOmen’s fashion designer to wanting to go troll the #daywithoutawoman rally. Focus was hard to attain and I was making my partner in crime/photographer a little crazy. Then I spotted my first Troll Target! Fake News Provider, and general tabloid The New York Times! Well at least it was a good first stop on my #MAGATour. My Democrat Photographer also gave them a non verbal salute (well, he might have been giving that to me but we will just assume he was all about flipping off the New York Times. Suck It Fake News!
Business Meeting, 11:00am
Well, I still had to go to my meeting even though it was a female owned business in New York City. I guess they didn’t get the message to fight the patriarchy by staying home from work or going to Trump Tower. I was going to ask them to join me as I went to stand up for Truth, Justice and the American Way, but I figured they might not share my enthusiasm. So, I figured I would just help them go down in history by letting their show room Make America Great Again!
The Walk To Trump Tower, 11:50am
Walking to Trump Tower, I was noticing that lots of women were wearing red to show solidarity with the #daywithoutawoman rally as instructed by the Palestinian Terrorists that organized it. I was actually joking about the irony of them picking the same color as Trump’s “Make America Great Again” hats form the campaign. I was also lamenting that I didn’t have one of those hats.
Who to Troll…Who to Troll…
Yes, someone told the strippers in patriotic Red, White and Blue Body paint and thongs to show up and let the patriarchy know they were to be respected. Because nothing says “Don’t Objectify Me” like taking off your clothes and asking for tips. Oh well, my third stop on my #MAGATour was about to go down. I got in between them and quickly switched over the sign. Then the Hispanic stripper saw the MAGA sign and said she was going to slap me. Luckily she didn’t, because that would have instantly made this tour less fun.Look at her face as she noticed the sign!
MAGA Hat Acquired, 12:17pm
I love tourist traps in New York City, they will shamelessly do anything for money. They will even have Trump Gear in the window and sell it to you, while simultaneously giving you a dirty look and mumble at you about Trump the Racist as they sell it to you. I put it on for the picture, but I realized I should put it away until after the Rally. If I wore it no one would take a picture with me, and I didn’t want this story to be called “Local Journalist Beaten To Death With Pussy Hats And Stoned With Bottles Of Patchouli Oil At Women’s Rally”. So after the picture, into my bag went the MAGA Hat and I was at Ground Zero For Equality…The Woman’s March at Trump Tower!!!!!!
Trump Tower, 12:30pm
I had been updating Twitter with my #MAGATour info and letting them see the pictures as I went along. I knew that now was the time to get serious. I handed my phone for my photographer to handle and realized that these marchers were so full of love, that if they realized I disagreed with them they might “Love Trump’s Hate” my ass into the Hospital. So I looked around for someone to pose with me for my first Trump Tower shot and found…
THIS GUY. (ok so it was Linda Sarsour or the woman who tortured a gay man to death, but at least he was sufficiently committed to fighting sexism he showed up with a sign!
A Day Without A Woman Rally, Trump Tower, 12:43pm
Wait a minute, this kind of sucks. There is no one really here, Sarsour was already in jail. The Palestinian Terrorist who organized this rally with Sarsour was no where in sight. The woman who tortured and killed the gay guy was a no show. I HAVE BEEN DUPED!!!!!!!!
I mean, true the bigger protest was downtown at Trump International, and I was a little late but seriously?
No matter, I still had work to do. I had to get some pictures with the more nefarious characters there. The one’s fighting the patriarchy day and night.
Like this lady!
I seriously have no real clue what that sign even means? I guess it was important to her though…FIGHT THE POWER.
Uh Oh, someone spotted my MAGA Hat sticking out of bag and called me a fascist. I was fearing for my demise but instead I got what had to be worse than a beating…a LECTURE! At least she gave me some literature so I could stop being a fascist. Do they have 12 Step Meeting for that?
Then I joined a small group of Pussy Hat wearers as they headed past Trump Tower. I realized that the time had come for the rally to end and for me to leave. But first I needed my big reveal. Sorry ladies, you have been infiltrated by one of them. I snuck down and donned the MAGA hat, and when right in front of Trump Tower, I stood up proudly for the picture I really wanted!
See Video Below For The Nice Protestors who walked us back to the Bus Stop.
Post Script, March 9, 2017
In the end, while I might not have done anything all that extraordinary or was able to really confront the organizers of the Day Without A Woman rally, it was still a really fun day on what should have been a boring day. I know this post has already been kind of (well very) long but I think there are two very serious points to make and I want them to be said clearly.
A) The women marching in these rallies are not patriots, nor civil rights leaders not revolutionaries. They are a bunch of angry bitter people who want to protest an election that has been over for quite sometime. They like to cloak their BS in lots of nice terms like “human rights” and “reproductive freedom”, but in the end they are just a little sad. The turnout for the rallies showed this pretty plainly. The vast majority of women didn’t show up, they didn’t participate nor did they identify with a group of women (there were a surprisingly large percentage of men there funny enough) who decided to take the day off of work to show that they too deserve free sh*t from the government. I mean the Palestinian Terrorist, Rasmea Yousef Odeh, had the time to be there because her deportation hearing isn’t for a few months. Linda Sarsour was able to take time out of her very busy schedule of advocating for Sharia Law and criticizing victims of genital mutilation to show up, but the vast majority of women in this country realized that these women are not representative of anyone. They vast majority of women have lives and jobs and kids. The vast majority of women realize that the organizers of these rallies are there to push an agenda that no one really gives a crap about.
B) I realized that, with all the craziness of the election. The constant bombardment of fake news, lies about Russia, Democratic Party organized tantrums and of course Chuck Shumer needing some Midol from crying too much, that it was time to start laughing again and enjoying life. I am lucky that I supported President Trump. I got to be part of the team that won the election and in the end I think he will do his best to make America Great Again. But beyond that, some of the brighter right wing speakers, entertainers, politicians, documentarians and others have come out of hiding. They aren’t worried about being targeted by the SJW police or the President himself for making a joke about a guy with a beard in the lady’s room, or the college students who are taking on hundreds of thousands in debt to be pacified for hurt feelings with play doh and coloring books. The conversation has shifted and it is time to smile again. I am not kidding myself that the Republican party will soon start doing what they always do and buckle under the pressure from the Left to stop doing good things. I don’t think President Trump is the Messiah, but I think it is the dawn of a new day where the sky isn’t constantly falling.